18th August 2025
I am in the middle of a WhatsApp conversation with Nick as we discuss the very complicated weekend we have just been through. The travelling is hard and I know the band are tired. I jumped on the tour at the start of June but remember the rest of the guys have been out on the road since April which as we hit August is a long time. I know I have been living out of a backpack for 10 weeks but for the rest of Paradise Lost they have pretty much doubled that.
I have decided to get a wheeled case instead of a backpack and Nick says he has a spare one, pretty much unused, good quality and it has a laptop compartment pocket at the front which is something I really want to have to ease access to my computer when the writing bug takes control. It is a good make and I pay him immediately (less 3 pence – just to annoy him) and he agrees to bring it to the Brutal Assault weekend.
I wake up ready to drive to Leeds to fly with the rest of the gang and notice a message on WhatsApp from the night before, from Nick, which I think tags our previous night’s discussion. It simply says and I quote, ” I have no more Fs.” This gets me worried. You know these Yorkshire boys like a good moan but as you know this is a pretty heartbreaking statement to give. No more F’s to give means you don’t care anymore and you have given up. I am not about to engage this and know we can discuss whatever is upsetting him when we meet at Leeds Bradford. I then drive up the M62 with Will, park and head to the terminal where I see Nick. He is smiling, we have a fist-bump and he hands over my new case which I dutifully fill up for the flight. As I zip the case up I notice some stickers on the top, just letters, black stickers with white writing. On the right hand side a P and an L and on the left hand side my name, in fact my nickname, J E F O. Hang on a minute I thought, my name is spelt wrong. I look up at Nick and he says, “Sorry, I ran out of Fs!”
As we come to the end of the 2025 festival season this will be my last diary of the summer. I am really pleased you have all enjoyed my warblings, the time I have put aside to bring these insights to you and the honesty I bring. I am pretty straight, I always give time to fans, take pictures when asked and I will try and answer any messages I get, however, something has properly annoyed me. The internet gives everyone a forum, a pen to write something which cannot be taken back. Most use this power for good, some to troll and many to write absolute bollocks. Let me just say, we try our best to be the best we can be as a band. I have already said that touring is not easy and festival season is harder than ever. Endless airports, delays, vehicle journeys, loss of sleep. I have previously painted this picture for you and the Pol’and’Rock weekend was very very difficult. I have not liked to see the undefended and untrue statements after the show, so I want to just put this right.
We were all extremely excited to have been offered to play this amazing festival. We understood the enormity of the show and the gravity and privilege to grace that stage, the famous light show, the fantastic huge stage set up and the offshoot charities that would benefit from the show. Matt, our guitar tech, told us all about it in June. It is his home country and he filled us all in on what to expect. Then, life happened.
We left Bergen and travelled to Amsterdam where our next flight to Berlin was delayed, delayed again and then delayed to the point where another delay could have seen the flight cancelled or the show impossible to physically make considering the length of the drive we needed to undertake from Berlin. We did make it to East Germany and left the airport just after 8pm. Show time was supposed to be 12.45 am so we knew we were going to be up against it but we were absolutely determined to make this work. We got on site at 12.30 and went straight to work. Yes we were late, but not THAT late and to be honest Les, Will, the local guitar tech, local crew and me worked our socks off to get the show on as quickly as possible. The packed crowd were seemingly patient and were excellent all the way through our gig when we did get on.
I can assure everyone, through adversity we were there, we played a great show and we felt triumphant!
So, Pol and Rock was a whirlwind. We were in and out like the SAS! I was pleased to catch Wolfmother on stage as we set up. When I looked out from stage I simply couldn’t even see the back or sides of the audience. Apparently there were 100,000 there and the fact that this unbelievable amount of people had stayed around to see us indicated a lot of people were happy to see Paradise Lost return to play in Poland. There were flying cameras and drones and it wasn’t until the following week, when I caught up with videos and pictures from the concert, I realised the sheer size, brilliance and beauty of the lighting rig. I have never seen anything like it. I felt very special to have been offered the opportunity to play there and it is something I will never forget. Certainly the biggest gig I have ever played.
After the show we had to travel 2 hours to our hotel. It was very light as I got in to bed at 6am and extremely annoying to wake again at 8.30! Once I am up that is it. I can get to sleep but struggle to stay asleep. Partly the problem is knowing we have to be somewhere and maybe some of the issue is FOMO. Who knows? I just know we drove two and a half hours to Berlin, flew to Amsterdam, waited, flew to Leeds and then I drove home getting in to bed on Sunday morning at 1am. The reality is that the travelling is hard work and that is something no one sees. Poor Nick and Les went off to do another show with Bloodbath so had another 24 hours to deal with.
After a few shellshocked days in the office we set off to Brutal Assault, new case in tow. I haven’t been to Czech Republic for a long time and it was really nice to be back. It was another long travel day and we convened for dinner together at the hotel. The hotel was near a really old and beautiful town square which next day Will and I walked to for some lunch. It was bloody hot outside and we were glad of the shade.
Brutal Assault has really changed since I last played there. Very organised crew and staff. I was really happy to see Overkill and managed to have a chat with Bobby. We first toured together in 2002 with Blaze and our last show together was in the US in 2007. Remember it being Poo in Poughkeepsie?
Our show was really good. Everything went well , the crowd were excellent and I enjoyed every moment, especially the show of phone torch lights from the crowd at the start of Faith Divides Us, moving stuff!
Unusually we were home early (ish) on Saturday night. Sunday was dedicated to family and searching for cars for my Charlie who passed his driving test while I had been away. It was sunny at home so it was shorts, sunglasses and cider in Costa Del Trafford.
Monday saw a busy day shooting a video with Plague Of Angels for our next single ‘Black Requiem’. We shot the video with Ash who I had just finished shooting the Tyrant’s Serenade video with for Paradise Lost. We built a whole grave scene with real grass and a perspex coffin in the studio. It looked grim and great! It was a very long day topped off by me nearly breaking my collar bone while dropping my equipment off. While carrying a large hardware case upstairs I lost my balance and I stopped myself falling down the stairs by grabbing the banister which smashed me in to the woodwork. I was cut and very bruised but somehow and luckily nothing broke.
And here we are, nearing the end of a long road. We played Dynamo Festival in Eindhoven last night. I enjoyed meeting Pete, the drummer, from Fear Factory who is an animal of a player. Walt was there and there were missed photo opportunities with Dino from Fear Factory, Max Cavalera and Mastodon’s drummer who I chatted with about our mutual love for Ozzy. We had friends there. Yorkshire brought Daz and Justin, who used to work at NMC, our management company, while Germany brought Amir and his son Navid. Amir you may remember from a previous diary. Will joined us for a pizza and a catch up in Eindhoven, once again precious catch up time away from the circus.
So now I will close this final summer episode as I fly to Bucharest for Astra Rock. We have another mountainous four and a half hour drive to face on landing.
I am really looking forward to our family holiday in Spain next week. I need to shut off for ten days. If I have been on the road I have also been remotely working and I have been in the office when not so there has been little or no down time so I want to take advantage of some R and R.
After my holiday I will be in rehearsal mode for the new tour with a completely revamped set list and we have the album release show in Leeds to learn new songs for. Exciting times ahead and I hope you are looking forward to the new album Ascension dropping too.
Thanks again for your words of support while the diaries have been released and hoping you enjoy the rest of your miserable summers.
All the best everyone
J E F O